"Just Blame It On Me."

I've flown on airplanes before but NEVER have I had one like this. I had assumed it was going to be a normal flight until HE showed up: a shorter man in his upper 30's with brown hair, blue eyes hidden behind some glasses, a couple of "beauty spots" on his face that needed a good shave came and sat down next to me with a small smirk on his face. He put his bag underneath the seat in front of him, and sipped his Moxie Java coffee that smelled like French Vanilla and said "Hi!"... I said hello back and that was the beginning of my flight from Boise to Lewiston...


After the flight attendants went through all the rules and procedures and we took off, he began to tell me how he was going to leave soon because he's been up since 4 doing things for work and flying all day...so he's going to crash in the two empty seats at the back of the plane. "It's nothing personal, I'm just tired...and my brain is mush." I just nodded and said "Oh, no you're fine. I hope you get some sleep." not knowing what to say.

He never left to go to the back.

He continued to talk to me about small things like where we were going, what I was doing in Boise. He told me he was going to Seattle; it's where he lives. How he grew up in Minnesota and prefers the big city and how Boise is so small! What I was doing in Boise, where I was going to school...etc. I just answered his questions as politely as I could, figuring it would be a long flight if I didn't...

***

I wish I could remember all that he said, because this guy was the funniest man I've ever met!! Being tired was seriously a huge plus for him and me because he made that flight the best one I've ever had. Although his coffee breath was overwhelming, it was extremely pleasant to talk to him.

He asked me, since I told him I was going to see family, what my family was like. I told him "I'm the youngest of 10." (Including Susan's children)

"Oh, haha, are you Catholic or Mormon?"

"Haha, yes I'm LDS..."

"Oh, right on! Yeah, I came from a Catholic background so I know how that goes...except my family was the outcast, kind of like the lepers of the community, because we only had 3 kids.

***

His two 'one liners' were "oh, right on!" and "Just blame it on me". For example, when he asked me what I did I told him I wrote, "Oh, right on! Are you any good?"

"I wouldn't say so bu--"

"No, you supposed to say 'yes'; confidence is key."

"Oh, sorry..."

"Oh, don't be...blame it on me; everyone else does. It's easier that way."

***

He continued on telling me that he collects things for his work, and told me he was looking for some tractor parts, asking me if there's any in Lewiston or where I'm going. I said "Maybe not so much; even though they're small they're still cities. Possibly out in the country."

"Oh yeah?? Right on! So like they have these graveyards of deceased tractor parts with gravestones saying "RIP John Deere"?? Because that would seriously be perfect for me." I just laughed and we discussed it for a while longer.

***

He told me about his family in Seattle, his two sons and his wife, Whitney. The older boy of 10 was named Raphael...which I thought was so amazing I couldn't remember the other's name, but he's 5. He asked me about my family; I tried to explain to him my living arrangements and how it came to be that way...it took about three times for him to grasp the concept....I also told him about the age range of the family and how they were pretty quick at first and I was the unexpected one.

"How big's the gap between you and the next?"

"Well he's 21 now and I'm 16."

"Oh wow! Ten years! That's a while!" I just kind of stared at him with the 'Seriously?' look...he stared back and then smacked his forehead and laughed, apologizing again that he was tired. "Okay, let me figure this one out...-puts hand up to his forehead to think and is quiet for a while- Ooouuuuch...I'm sorry I can't think. It's like I tried to flex my brain but it collapsed instead; it really hurt actually!"

"Haha, well don't hurt yourself, it's not that important."

He then continued to tell me he really was smart; he was the valedictorian at his high school, went to college at 16 (he skipped two grades) and majored in music (he plays piano because he cannot sing). He prefers math but he's a pretty good writer "I mean, I wrote the graduation speech so...I have to have some talent, right?" I told him I was interested in English, and he said his English teacher in College was the devil, whose purpose on this life was to make everyone feel inferior...and he claimed that class was his first B...ever. He also told me to never forget that writing all depends on perspective; with out it, it basically sucks.

"So years from now after you write your award-winning, life altering book that brings world peace, eliminates world hunger, even makes cats and dogs want to live together, you say "It was the man on the airplane...he talked perspective.""

"Haha, yes, the crazy guy who slept in the back of the plane....he changed my life; I suppose I can never forget." We both just laughed.

***

I went on to tell him I also was into music, that I was in choir, and used to play the French Horn. We discussed the amazingness of a French Horn (basically that they're the best instrument known to man...which they are) and also that we both wanted to play string instruments: he wanted cello, I wanted violin.

I told him "I played one note on the violin, and it sounded like a dying cat..."

"Then I think you should stay clear from them completely...but I've never really liked cats anyways, so that's okay." He went into how he loves all animals...expect cats and really just wants to step on their heads. All his piano teachers had like 15 of them, and they were always mean and they smelled worse than horses. "So if you ever want to play the violin for me, it would be music to my ears...I would just sit there and say 'Ah...dying cats...the most beautiful sound in the world.'"

***

"Now, where are we going again?" I spent the next while again trying to explain Lewiston and where it's at.

"It's about 40 miles from Moscow, near Clarkston...small way from Lapwai..." He just stared at me with the best blank expression ever known to man.

"Kay, that's all a foreign language to me...even though I know you're speaking English; they're just words. Well, actually, there more like syllables but they aren't forming anything coherent..."

"Well that's the best I can do, sorry."

"Oh, it's okay, you can just blame it on me."

***

We talked more about home, why I lived with the Sippy's; he also moved out once as he went off to college. We talked about how sometimes you just need to get away, because the longer you stay the worse things become and the less you can stand it. He asked me again why I was going up to Moscow, I told him to see family and that my grandmother wasn't doing well. We talked about that...and his grandmother went through something really similar.

***

They then announced we were landing down in Lewiston soon, so I thought I'd start to say "my goodbyes".

"Thank you so much for talking with me! It was extremely plesant and entertaining."

"Haha, well thank you. Yeah, it was pretty entertaining huh?? But I think the funniest thing about this whole flight was that you stole my seat."

"You're kidding...did I really?!?" He just laughed and teased me by walking me through which seats were what...I felt so bad...and I apologized about 5+ times.

"It's okay, just blame it on me..."

"I do blame it on you for not saying anything!! Now you'll know me as the jerk who stole your seat and wouldn't let you sleep!"

"And I'm the guy who talked about nothing for an hour."

***

We said our goodbyes and he wished me well with what I was doing...including grandmother. I told him he better move over before another no good ten year old--I mean teenager stole his seat. I got off the plane, and he continued on is way to Seattle.

I suppose I wrote about this because I feel obligated to remember him now because not only did I tell him that I'd never forget him, I told him I'd write about him in one of my "books". So there's the story of the insanely tired coffee man who sat next to me on an airplane and told me about perspective...and if you didn't like it, you can just blame it on me...;]