♫A Whole New World!♫

I'm an Eagle entering the Lions' Den. I have been asked to fit in...and I'm just thinking "How?!? I look different, act different, eat different...how am I supposed to fool them?!?" It's my Senior year, and I have transferred High Schools: I. Am. Scared.

I prayed about this...and I didn't quite get an answer, so I took it as the Lord telling me 'whatever you choose will be just fine'. I've moved into a Stake where everyone goes to Borah, the transportation will be cheaper to school if I transfer, I'll make friends and still get to take the same classes...and I headed for THE JUNGLE.

While hyperventilating all through registration, the butterflies in my stomach made me nauseous and I had more on my mind than I did on my plate. I wanted to go hide in a corner and cry...I even started to tear up while standing in line for my picture.. Momma Sippy was there to tell me it was okay, but the words smelled like vinegar; they were so bitter because I did not feel "okay" at all.


The greatest sacrifice I had was that I had worked so hard to get into the top choir at Capital; I went to all my sectionals, took my music home and very often skipped eating lunch just to focus on my music. My hard work paid off...but I gave it up to start anew at Borah...hoping maybe I could get into their top choir. At registration, the choir director informed me ever so politely that I could not, because auditions were last school year, it's a tough group to get into and the only way I can get in is if someone leaves the choir...even then there's a huge long list of people (especially girls) who will be getting in if that happens. So my chances of being in CDVE (their top choir) are slim to none. How wonderful.

That night, I found out that a girl who's insanely talented when it comes to music who went to Capital transferred to Borah and got in. (I have had a long history of being extremely jealous of this young woman because she has an amazing voice, is always the teachers' favorite and gets ALL the solos, composes her own music, and already has scholarships to the top music schools in America...and no matter how hard I work, she always can do better and I always feel like second best.) I lost it...I started to cry (at around ll) and didn't stop until 2 in the morning when I finally fell asleep curled up in fetal position on my bed.

I keep reminding myself "Only after the trial of your faith do you receive a witness of your faith", "I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me", "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding"...but I'm still scared and I feel so uneasy. I don't know if that's my nerves or the Lord telling me "This is NOT the right thing to do." All I feel is regret and worry...even though my own father told me that I should go to Borah!

I've heard that those who endure the greater trials receive the greater blessings...so I'm just putting all my faith in the Lord that he's there and he'll guide me along and that things will work out for me, that even though I'm a Capital Eagle, I'll be able to transition into the Borah Lion world...and pray that I will not be eaten alive.